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| i'm not saying everything is magically peachy everyday, but more days are good ones. i've been working to get back to being happy. strangely enough, hanging out with ava makes me feel a lot better. i guess someone who is so simply happy gives off an addictive happiness. her spontaneous humor gets me every time, too. and whenever i feel like giving up on life, ava keeps me optimistic. well, i would put more about how depressed i've been but i feel like a broken record. so i think i'll just get off of here. i'll post again when i feel i have something new to say. until then, katja | | |
| this past weekend was ...simply incredible. me and abby went to visit my friend stacy at my old college. and everything that could have gone wrong did. we had a million mishaps, but we also had a lot of fun. in the course of a few days, we experienced laughter, frustration, fear, anger, and a lot of confusion. in one day, three people had meltdowns and there were tears all over the place. did i mention there was a breathalyzer involved? it was pure insanity. in the end, however, i think i came out knowing who was really my friend and even those who had never met before (stacy and abby) grew incredibly close. this weekend was a rollercoaster i will never forget. | | |
|  | Currently Watching
Shopgirl
By Steve Martin, Claire Danes, Jason Schwartzman, Bridgette Wilson, Sam Bottoms, Frances Conroy, Rebecca Pidgeon, Samantha Shelton, Gina Doctor, Clyde Kusatsu, Romy Rosemont, Joshua Snyder, Rachel Nichols, Shane Edelman, Emily Kuroda, Jayzel Samonte, Mark Kozelek, John Fedevich, Zak Sally, Ray Buktenica
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i am so confused right now. i don't need a relationship right now. i'm not lonely. i don't even want anything right now. and yet...i realized that it's not that i miss having a boyfriend, but having guy friends. i mean i have them, but i haven't talked to most of them in ages. about five years ago, most of my friends were guys. i just went to change my top eight on myspace and realized that anyone i would put in there would be a girl. i know it's weird, but there's just a whole different kind of friendship that you can have with guys. and i miss it. so my new year's resolution, in addition to jogging and shit, is also to rekindle my old friendships and make new ones. abby (i think because she's pretty) seems to make guy friends out the ass to my astonishment. but she's also a myspace junkie. personally, i need to leave home to find sanity so i can be like that. well, i actually have to go now because it's after four in the morning and i need to get up sometime tomorrow. tschus, alle! katja | | |
| sooo....i'm not going back to blackburn college. ever. well, ok unless visiting some friends. but i'm not going back for any classes. complicated, solely financial reasons. i did not flunk out or get kicked out because of conduct or anything. it was all financially based. so it sucks. and i don't know what to do. my parents want me to go to community college so i can keep my health insurance, but i really don't want to go. i just don't think college is right for me. it's too easy and i got bored. and i want to spend at least one year of my life living on my own, alone. no roommate. i am just not much of a roommate person. mostly because i spent almost my entire life with one. eugh. i need some time on my own, to myself so i can grow and mature. without the harassment of my family for my every move. honestly. why can't my life be my own to make mistakes with? why do they have to make fun of me for everything i do? geez. well, i must go now because i can't feel my fingers anymore it's so cold down here....ah, well, tschus, katja | | |
| i'm coming home in a few days!!! i have become so sick of the drama, the people, the backstabbing, even the way people talk here at blackburn. commonly heard phrases: sad day!=too bad! i heart you!=you're my friend! and so many more....augh. it drives me crazy sometimes, especially when people WAY overuse them. blach. i just can't wait to be back home. my family will definitely take my mind off of things here...and i know that even if my roommate can't stand me, my family can. it's always nice to go somewhere you know you'll always be loved. anyhow, i kind of have a surprise for my family back home....lol. just wait and see! i miss everyone! katja | | |
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